Learning a language often requires admitting to the person with whom you're attempting to converse that the grammatical intricacy of their speech, or perhaps just their vocabulary or sheer velocity of air and spittle, exceeds your level of comprehension. The problem in Dubai is that you have far more practitioners of Dubaian Pidgin English than of the language's more well constructed iterations (I myself speak American Screaming Eagle of Freedom English).
At times, I've found myself stooping to fragmented cave-person English (respect, ladies) in order to get my point across, often coupled with hand gestures. Many guest workers, employed in the service industry, seem deathly afraid of admitting when they don't understand a request. I empathize, and suspect that in part, it's because their employment is predicated on their English fluency, so in a sense, they are protecting their jobs by giving you horrible service. The following doesn't qualify as horrible, but it is a depiction of a fairly normal service experience in Dubai--- the food at this restaurant is very much above average:
"We'll have one red cabbage salad, one pumpkin salad, and a hamburger."
Look of total incomprehension. Brow knits for approximately 45 seconds.
"You mean cheeseburger, mahm?" Going out on a limb.
"Uhh, no. This here..." Points to menu.
"Oh, you mean the beef burger?"Accompanied by look of relief. I guess Hamburger sounds like a pork product if your knowledge of German metropolises and/or sandwich history is lacking.
"Uhh, yeah. That one."
"Anything to drink?"
"Yes, one large water and one headache remedy juice."
"Ahh... let me check on the headache remedy." Walks to juice bar, returning about five minutes later.
"Ok Mahm, we can make that juice for you."
Ten Minutes elapse.
"Sorry Mahm, but we don't have fresh onion juice for the headache remedy."
"Well, can't you make some?"
"Ahh, sorry but no fresh onion juice. No onions."
"But this restaurant is in inside a grocery store."
"Yes but... juicer broken."
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